Being Yourself – 8 Ways To Let The Real You Shine Through

Have you ever felt like you can’t be yourself?

Or you don’t know who you are?

You’re not alone…I went through most of my life not knowing who I was.

It’s tough in its own unique way, to live in today’s world being confused about who you are.

You can feel trapped, alone, misunderstood, unaccepted.  Subconsciously, it’s possible to think “there’s no time to be myself, no one cares to know me anyway.”  The truth is, there is always time to be yourself.  There’s only one YOU in this entire world, and you have a valuable story to tell.  You just have to believe it.

It took me a long time to finally believe that I have a valuable story to tell.

In this post, you’ll learn 8 things you can do to let the real you shine through.  These aren’t magic pills you can swallow to find yourself instantly, but if you’re seriously trying to find who you are…

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t be yourself…

Here are 8 Things You Can Do:

1.  Uncage Yourself. You’ve been trapped for too long. One way to uncage yourself is to empty something inside of you by pouring it out somewhere.  You don’t have to know exactly what this “something” is.  Just do something physical to express yourself somewhere.  You can give thanks, jog, journal, sing.  You can vent, punch, kick.  You can talk to a trusted friend.

2.  Fill Yourself Up.  Fill your mind, body, soul, spirit with something positive, wonderful, awe-inspiring, encouraging.  You can read an uplifting book, listen to music, eat a healthy snack.

I like to start my morning routine with giving thanks, breathing and exercises – then fill my mind by reading positive material.  You can choose to read a book that uplifts and inspires you to be a better person.  For me, the Bible gives me awesome instructions for living and loving well.

3.  Investigate Who You Are.  You may not know everything about who you are (and you don’t need to), but you can get a good idea by asking yourself these questions:

“What’s in my Heart?  What do I like and not like?  What are my Abilities?  What are my Gifts & Talents?  Personality?  Experiences in life?”

Spend 15 minutes to jot down your first thoughts to these questions.  Then answer “I am _____.”

It’s amazing how this simple reflection can open up your eyes to see the true beauty inside of you, that may be trapped inside because you haven’t had time to sit & be still & think.  You may be surprised at just how close to some workable answers you really are.  Then it’s a matter of letting that answer shine through – unhindered by fear, doubt, or other people’s opinions.

3.  Identify What’s Holding You Back.  What keeps you from being you?  Is it fear, doubt, worry, guilt?

Some soul-searching questions to ask yourself are:

“Do I notice a pattern in my life that keeps bringing me back to this undesirable place?  What are my deepest fears?  Am I afraid of making a mistake?  Not being good enough?  Am I scared of what people will really think of me?”

You can also seek out someone else to help you through this process, and there’s nothing wrong with it.  It just means you care enough about your well-being and those around you, to take the action to get more tools for the job.  That help can come in the form of a therapist, counselor, life coach, business coach, a good friend, or an acquaintance with good listening ears.

5.  Accept Yourself.  Acceptance disarms fear and allows you to be yourself.  Think about the last time someone accepted you after you did something you weren’t proud of.  How did it make you feel?  Most people know they need to accept themselves, but they find it so hard to do!  I’ve been there.  Lots of people are there…smart people, beautiful people, you name it.  Doctors, lawyers, prominent businesspeople.  Many of them can’t get over the fact that their mothers didn’t love them enough when they were 2 years old.

Listen – There’s only one you!  Simply accept the unique, wonderful person you’re made to be.  Because here’s the truth…You contribute newness of life that only you can bring.  You don’t have to be perfect – no one else is!  Everybody has strengths and weaknesses.  Know that just the way you are is valuable to your family, society and to your community – not in an arrogant way, but in bold humility.  In fact, speak life to yourself today, “I am valuable to my family, society and community.”

6.  Get Into A Relational Support System.  It’s awfully hard to work on things alone, don’t you think?  Our hindrances aren’t resolved just by our own effort or willpower.  So make sure you’re not an island fighting out there all by yourself.  “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”  Not only do we need to replace critical voices with accepting ones, we need to internalize new voices from a support community that values real relationships.

7.  Develop A Life Vision. Why is having a vision important?  It allows you to answer why life is worth it for you.  Are you doing what you want to do – what you’re made to do – and is it making a difference in other people’s lives?  Do you wake up looking forward to the day or do you dread it?

8.  Give Yourself The Gift Of Parameters. These are life-giving limits, boundaries, or guidelines.  Parameters allow you to want, desire and dream again…so you can go after your dreams, set goals and achieve them without feeling guilty.  When you wake up your “want muscles” within certain limits & boundaries, it gives you freedom and limits self-imposed deprivation.  It also develops your self-control muscles.  This is truly the secret sauce to making work-family balance not only possible…but achievable and beautiful.

I hope these tips will give you a boost in your journey to discover who you are.  They’re the product of my own journey to be who I’m designed to be.  Through journaling, soul-searching, personal growth and development…painful mistakes, my tenacious hubby, business training, life coaching, and key friends, I’m reminded it’s wonderfully fulfilling to be authentic…let go, let God and let everything flow…and I continue on that exciting journey!

So who am I?

“A battle-seasoned warrior.”  That’s what my husband called me after watching a show, where a man remarked in response to a woman’s comment, “She displays the wisdom of a battle-seasoned warrior.”

Another man responded, “She’s a mother.  Close enough.”

If you’ve ever struggled with being yourself, know that you’re definitely not alone.  Feel free to share your experience about this.  It can also help someone else…

I invite you to leave a comment below.

There are a lot more people struggling with this than we think.  If you have a friend who’s wrestling with being themselves, be sure to forward this post to them.

Tags: be real, freedom, mindset, stay at home mom