Oct

Day 3 Psychology Experiment

Day 3. I must admit it’s getting hard to continue to blog about the detailed circumstances surrounding the compliments, and it’s also a challenge to give 5 compliments a day to 1 person. So, I’ll just write down what I said and to whom (with brief references to some circumstances). I’ll also journal my observations of what changes I see and feel.

To Hubby

You’re so sweet.

Yay! You’re home early today!

Thank you for thinking fast (for suggesting me to eat cheese when I felt jittery from too much caffeine).

You’re good at this now (hubby cut his hair tonight).

To my daughter

You’re a smart girl!

You are wise to want to do your homework first before snack time.

To my son

Good job! You are so helpful (for “helping” me fold your t-shirts and face towels).

Observations: Changes I see and feel

I’m finding a change in myself. On the first day I made a conscious effort to say positive things, but it felt funny to say so many things to compliment my dear husband. He is all those things, but it felt a little awkward to vocalize it. Maybe it’s our Chinese culture and we’re not used to saying when we appreciate someone. On the second day I had to remind myself to continue but I said what I could. By today, the third day, it was getting a little easier to think of what to say without it sounding unnatural or unreal. Also, I am feeling more full of appreciation and joy for my family. My eyes opened to dwell more on their good qualities which made me less critical of the bad qualities.

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Tags: Appreciation, Art of Listening, Building Community, Marriage And Family

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t2dawn

Wow…I love to read your experiement…thank you SO much for doing this Jinnia…I can't wait to tell my teacher about this:)
http://jinnialow.com Jinnia

Hi Terra! You rock for posting this experiment…it's just what I've been wanting to do with my family!! I've been asking God, help me to PRAISE more – both God & people. You're right though, it's been a challenge to come up with 5 things. What class are you taking? Is it a classwide assignment, or your special project?
t2dawn

Hi Jinnia…yes this is an assignment from my Psychology class…it's cool, hugh? It is hard to come up with five things but it's worth it… We learned about behavior and how positive reinforcement encourages positive behavior much more successful than the 4 other methods we learned about. I have already been using this method with my children for about a month now and I see that it works, they are much happier and learn better. So…I thought I would try w/my husband. Oh boy! I look forward to reading more of yours:)
http://jinnialow.com Jinnia

It's very cool! That's wonderful you've been doing this with your children for a month already! It seems easier with the kids, being home with them all day there's more time to say nice things to them . Great that you're gonna try w/ your hubby! I'd love to know how that goes for you.
t2dawn

Hi Jinnia…yes this is an assignment from my Psychology class…it's cool, hugh? It is hard to come up with five things but it's worth it… We learned about behavior and how positive reinforcement encourages positive behavior much more successful than the 4 other methods we learned about. I have already been using this method with my children for about a month now and I see that it works, they are much happier and learn better. So…I thought I would try w/my husband. Oh boy! I look forward to reading more of yours:)
http://jinnialow.com Jinnia

It's very cool! That's wonderful you've been doing this with your children for a month already! It seems easier with the kids, being home with them all day there's more time to say nice things to them . Great that you're gonna try w/ your hubby! I'd love to know how that goes for you.