Feb
1

Maintaining A Successful Marriage Year After Year

happy marriage stockvault_22912_200912250001Recently I was asked a question that made me think.

I thought so long and hard about it that I want to share it as a post with all of you.

Here’s the question:

What do you think is most important in order to have and maintain a successful marriage year after year?

I believe the answer varies for each person because of different circumstances.

Personally for my husband and me, the over-arching “ingredient” is being willing to meet each other’s needs.

In order for us to do that, there are all kinds of “ingredients” we need to make that happen.

Things like…

  • time alone with each other, free of distractions
  • listening to each other intentionally
  • asking each other engaging questions
  • putting ourselves in each other’s shoes
  • doing something funny to break tense moments
  • remembering each other’s good qualities

Yes, it’s about communication.  But I believe there’s a deeper angle…

Perceived communication.

Here’s a suggestion if you want to experience this.  It’s helpful and kinda fun.

Pretend you are your spouse for the day.

Whatever you say to or do for your spouse today, imagine yourself receiving those words or action.  Notice how you might feel if you were in your spouse’s shoes today.

It gives incredible insight into how we can better ask questions, listen to, and meet each other’s needs.  Also a great way to prepare our hearts for Valentine’s Day.

What about for you?

What do you think is most important in order to have and maintain a successful marriage year after year?

If you have a comment, we’d love to hear it below!

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Posted by jinnialow Communication Skills, Marriage And Family, Mindset, Success Subscribe to RSS feed
  • jeniferking
    We have quite the challenges in our marriage (being out of town with our own businesses and a 9-5 to that) Since I am a SAHM and homeschooling parent I have lots of time with the boys And we try every day to make a picture or something fun for daddy. For my husband and I, we completed the Love Dare, a bit ago and they had some great goals and ideas in there. Our favorite by far is to every day, just once at least, give a compliment, tell an inspiring story to one another-Give of the heart. Of couse we also believe in the effects of prayer and bible study within the home! :-)
  • jeniferking
    For my husband and I its definitely a challenge due to all of our work/business demands that keep us running. But we make sure to have at least one converrsation each day that revolves around something positive, whether a compliment, or a story of something fun that we did or our son's did...We also read God's word alot and so we are always striving to walk closer to Christ - The family that prays together stays together :-)
  • That's wonderful you aim to have at least one positive conversation each day. What a great example of nurturing your marriage every day. With Christ as the center, your foundation is solid :)
  • Sharla
    I think it's very important to have a mutual respect for one another. Appreciating each other's differences and learning each other's needs are also important. It's also important to never allow yourself to get complacent because that's when you start neglecting the little things and over time you can fall into a rut or start drifting apart. Another thing is to allow room for both yourself and your spouse to grow and learning to fall in love with each other again at each phase in your marriage.
  • Great points, especially the reminder to not allow ourselves to get complacent. We don't ever want to neglect the little things. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
  • Annie
    Personally, we don't celebrate Valentines day. Our anniversary is the day after. Even then, we don't really celebrate. We try to do nice things for each other every day. For us, it's the little things that add up. :-)
  • You're right, the little things do add up :) For us, Valentine's day is a reminder of how beautiful love really is. Taking it into everyday life keeps it alive and well :)
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