thought provoking writing there. negative thoughts will always be there to try to bring us down but it's really really up to oneself to build up that positive vibe within them.. thanks for sharing!

Thanks for your thoughtful comment and follow! I like how you put it – it's
up to us to build up that positive vibe within us!

As you know, I'm moving in a couple of weeks. To me this is a new adventure to take all the pieces of who I've been in the past and pull them together to find my true voice.

When I had toddlers I stopped knitting because they kept pulling the needles out!
When I had babies I stopped playing golf with my husband because it was too difficult to get out for so long together.
I used to make all my own bread, jams, meals, etc from scratch before I got sick and didn't have the time and energy – then I was out of the habit.
Same for making crafts, interior decorating and all those other creative endeavors that feed our soul but are the first to go when we're short on time, energy or money.
I used to write for a newspaper and work on the “great” novel.
I used to plan fun events for my kids but now they're grown and no grandkids yet.
I used to have family and friends over constantly – almost daily – and have a house full of fun and laughter, food and good times.

I'm seeing this as my opportunity to “start again”. To be that “hearth and home” person I've envisioned myself, hoped to be someday when all the planets aligned or some similar miracle took place.

I have all the pieces inside of me – I know because I've been there, done that before in another time and place – now I just need to pull them all together. (And I'm leaning heavily on the One who makes miracles happen!)

Just realized that I didn't answer your question, and it's very important – even necessary to – in order to take something away from your wonderful thought provoking blog entry.

What new habits?

Be organized. Time slips thru my fingers when I'm not and I don't accomplish things that are important and end up doing day after day of the mundane. By organized I mean a daily schedule with all the things on it that are necessary and the meaningful.

Don't buy prepackaged foods so I have to cook from scratch. When I do cook from scatch I feel wonderful but sometimes I take the lazy way out when I have the choice.

Blogging gives my choices more importance somehow, so I'll blog about all the cooking, cleaning, gardening, crafting and reno jobs that I do.

Lose the “whats in it for me” attitude. I never thought that way before I was sick, merrily “helping” people until I needed help myself and no one was there. My attitude was to do nice things because I wanted to be a nice person, and let go of the rest. I want to cultivate that attitude again by not listening to the negative, and stop the tapes when they start playing in my head.

Thanks for your blog today – sorry for the wordy response!

Not at all! I love deeper interactions like these! Thank you SO MUCH for your thought-filled comment!! You said a lot of key things that, like I said on your blog, I'll be thinking and pondering over. There are some things I'd like to put some time into responding later on tonight. Blessings to you!

Jinnia what a great post! I'm so glad your exploring and overcoming this challenge. It's not easy and your brave for opening the door. Take comfort in the fact that all the negativity was your history and your future (and your childrens) will be filled with a loving and positive home. Just gave you an award as well…come check it out.

Tesha, thank you so much for the award and words of encouragement! You're
an inspiration to me and I appreciate you.

Jinnia, I enjoyed reading your post. Very real and true. The last words especially resonate with me, “someone who would encourage, appreciate, love”. I agree there is so much negativity in the world today, and yet we can control how we think and write and talk. I am reading a book now and the following words struck me that fall into this category. “In the world of thought, we are responsible for everything. We think what we choose and we are what we think” Thought is the basis for our humanity.

Wow, Cassiopeia! This truly is an amazing response! You're so hard-working and talented!! I don't know how you did all that you did with babies and toddlers running around – AND on top of it you're creative with crafts, making meals (even bread & jam?) from scratch, and had family & friends over constantly! Seriously – how did you do it? You mentioned you were sick, was it a serious illness? I hope you're feeling better from that. You've shared some meaningful thoughts that are rich in experience, growth, and living! Thank you so much for delving deeper to share your answer to my question. I really enjoyed reading your reply and very thankful you posted it! I know there's more to it and sometimes I wish there were more time in the day to go there…but I look forward to keeping in touch with you!

Thank you, Eileen. I appreciate your comment! I resonate with those words in the book you're reading, and along those lines, I've heard it phrased that our thinking pattern determines how well we do in life (not education, talent, or money). What's the name of the book you're reading?

Jinnia,
This is a great post! It goes right along with the current theme of my blog. I write about women's issues: stress, self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I love your subject and may link back at some point. Come visit!

Bernice, thank you for visiting and for your kind comment! I visited your blog and LOVE what you write about. You're right, this post does go along with your theme. I can't wait to read more, I'm so interested in personal growth through struggles and finding purpose in life!

Jinnia, this is a really nice post. I really like your theme as well. I'm following you from MBC. Stop by and visit me at Health living & A Balanced You http://www.AliciaHunter.net….

Thank you, Alicia. Glad you stopped by! Thanks for the follow and kind words. Have a great day!

Hi there- thanks for stopping by!